The Beginning (Or, Tuesday September 1st)

It began at 9:47pm, which, coincidentally, was the same time that Katie began to realize she probably should start working on an outline that was due the next morning.

Katie: your kids are going to be so fat it will be like you have 3 of them.

A little background: Carissa had been pondering how exactly one has 2.4 (or some other such ludicrous number of) children. She had briefly explained her theory on the subject to Katie, but realize further clarification was needed:

Carissa: 2.8, not 3.

Here's the breakdown:
Even numbers (aka 1 or 2 or 3 and so on) of children are really skinny children. Any fractions of children after that are somehow translated into the body weight of the amount of children. Example: If you are going to have 2.4 children, you have two children who each have 20% more body fat than "really skinny". Which I guess probably isn't unhealthy. 2.8 children, however, means that each of them have 40% extra body fat. No good.

Granted, Katie and Carissa have never, and are never going to claim their ideas are at all logical, fact-based, or of this world or any other. So actual mathematical equations and correct terminology are out of the question. Sorry.

A little later on:

Carissa: I feel like kids that eat glue would never be fat. In fact, I think they would actually end up with superpowers. I mean, that's what happened with me.

Katie: i feel like your kids would be super fat since they eat glue because all that cake will literally stick to them. stomach lined with glue filled with cake equals fat ass.

Carissa: Don't you go doing math on me, little missy! You know I can't keep up when you do that.

Anyway, ew, gross.
Except, technically: Stomach lined with glue filled with cake would equal fat stomach, unless YOUR kids are born with some weird disease where their stomachs are located in their asses. Which means they would in turn poop out of their bellybuttons. My kids may be fat, but I bet you'll have more fun with your stomach-diapers.

Katie: belly button poo is valuable like unicorn semen so ill be selling jars of it for 30 bucks a piece.

Allow me to digress for a moment, because it's not often that unicorn semen is mentioned in a scholarly context such as this. So here's the backstory:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200366238168

Yeah, when I say I'm going to give you a backstory, I'll more often than not post a link. Because, really, I'm lazy.

The conversation obviously continued on (because this Banter is very much akin to The Song That Never Ends), but definitely did not only ever reference overweight children, causes of such, and unicorn semen.

But that's for another day, good readers!

Per Katie's request, a word-of-the-day (because neither of them are literate, but are trying their hardest to change that!): Mongoose (hunted or otherwise)

Did I say I would provide a definition? No! Who do you think I am? WHO? Webster? Hell, naw.